If your Sunday does not include a hangover for some reason, I would strongly recommend while it is still nice out, taking a walk over to the west side before all the Hamptons folks return to repopulate the city with their eating disorders, coke habits, and far too expensive preppy clothing. The west side is where I spent most of Sunday solo enjoying the people watching which mostly included cute dogs, kids taking their bicycles for a first spin, and couples who clearly live uptown and consider running along the west side highway to be their foray into downtown life.
I made my first visit to the High Line and it was pretty sweet. The views were great, there are places to drink booze, watch people have sex at the standard, and even spots for the little ones to play. My only issue with the High Line is the issue I have with every other really fun/interesting/scenic spot in Manhattan, it was interminably crowded. From savvy suburbanites to high-heeled models, to the most adorable multi-cultural, bi-racial families one could ever imagine (genetic diversity is where its at folks)- the place was packed. Crowds aside, I would still recommend a trip up there as it really was pretty great. I’d imagine the view at sunset was even better but by the time the sun was setting I was pretty ravenous and after a brief stop at the gym (precipitated mostly by a need to pee), I headed to Whole Foods for another Sunday NYC tradition: grocery shopping. Also, absurdly crowded and I made the rookie mistake of hitting up the grocery store after a day where I only had a few cookies and a soy latte, so by the time I got to Whole Foods every food option seemed like a great idea.
I also deftly avoided, barely, a prominent partner at my firm as I didn’t think it appropriate to approach him while he is at the butcher and while yours truly was still a sweaty, disgusting mess donning a Yankees hat, pearls, and the same yoga pants I had on the day before. Walking around lower Manhattan in the same clothes two days in a row and I cannot figure out I haven’t secured a date all summer…
Our foray into life “out east,” mind you the purpose of this trip was to raise money for a truly worthwhile cause, was eventful to say the least.
We went from the scariest(think creepy movie that comes out around halloween type hotel, to almost killing one another we were so tired and hungry to ultimately finding ourselves fat and happy on the beach sunday afternoon. In between the following occurred:
-we spent over 100 on cabs going no where-literally
-someone madeout with someone whose name was unclear for a solid 24 hours so we simply referred to him as “what’s his face”
-we saw a woman made almost entirely of plastic at the uber exclusive maidstone club as she walked by someone literally said, “where is your face?”
-we sort of convinced someone to stay out all night with us which is usually great, unless you live with your parents. Direct quote from her mother, “I was on my knees saying my rosary at 4:30 and God must have spoke to me because I decided against calling south hampton hospital to see if you were there. I decided if you were there, they would have recognized you and called me. You’re going to have a kid someday and she is going to give you a heart attack-literally-and I’m looking forward to it.”
-trip ends with what seems like a never-ending ride back to nyc in a wet bathing suit replete with hamptons dbags and screaming children.
Really quite special.
Going forward other things you need to survive a weekend in the hamptons:
-snobby attitude
-car and driver
-private residence with pool and beach club access
In sum you need lots of dough or a friend whose parents have some and really like you. This is actually the only way to survive life out east without blowing your life savings or losing your mind.
So it has been a while and after a month without blogging, I realized that I miss blogging, so I’m back!! After my service as a Koumbara in Mykonos and attempting to navigate Istanbul (which was totally underwhelming) here are the top ten highlights/fun facts of the two week mandatory (according to US bank regulations) vacation:
- I may be Greek Orthodox-I have no idea what was said during this wedding ceremony as the entire thing was in Greek, but I did partake in communion, invoke the holy trinity, and kiss a bible several times. I also signed some documents that I believe confirm that the couple is married, but for all I know, I could have signed away my legal rights to my first born child, no idea.
- It really is a small world-you would think that crashing a sick house party in Mykonos (almost the other side of the world) would mean being an unknown character, and we were “those random girls” until we ran into the bartender from Martignettis…
- Saltwater pools, particularly ones with a view of the Mediterranean, and filled with your friends (none of whom are actually dressed for swimming) are quite delightful
- An on-site cook when you’re battling a hangover is even more delightful
- Living a life that you cannot actually afford and NOT getting arrested for it, ie actually knowing the people whose home (translation: private compound) you are occupying without them being present makes returning to your real life and a “budget” incredibly unpleasant
- Guys who wear kilts traditionally do not wear anything underneath them, at least not until they are married (and no I was not the individual who confirmed this fun fact)
- You can totally turn a wedding that begins at sunset and ends at “moonset” (new term coined after watching the moon set and the sun rise for a week) into an MTV spring break trip
- I hate museums
- “B Squared” is the new ideal vacation equation=boys and beaches
- You never get seated next to a hot guy on a plane (unless you’re V), it just doesn’t happen. You hope for it, sometimes you even plan for it, you may dress for it and nothing. I sat next to a bunch of high school students on my way to Greece, and on my way back from Istanbul, I actually lucked out and had an entire row to myself which was awesome, but a cute boy who I could trick into taking me out on a date once I was back in NYC probably would have been slightly more awesome…
There are obviously a few more scandalous fun facts but they probably shouldn’t be shared with the general public, particularly if I want to keep my friends.
Since I unfortunately turned down all marriage offers that were dispensed in Greece and Turkey (oh yeah, there were several of those and lots of “Go Obamas” shouted out as I walked around), I’m back in NYC and I still haven’t gone on a date this summer.
I officially have 37 days until Labor Day, which is more than enough time to convince some poor fool that he should buy me dinner.
