and if you haven’t read this by now you either don’t work in finance or live under a rock or some combination of the two…
The Ex-Banker Living on Alcohol, Hook-ups, and Unemployment…
ummm wow. now here is the thing, i would love to be all self-righteous and judgmental and rant about how inappropriate this girl’s behavior is, but at the end of the day i must own up to the fact that if i wanted to behave in this fashion, considering my posse of guy and girl friends, it probably wouldn’t actually be all that challenging. i’ve been to the majority of those venues, i’ve dropped a drunk text or two (or ten), i drink for free frequently, and i’ve definitely eaten for free at the cost of some other girl’s date who wasn’t attractive at all. there is clearly some serious misbehavior in this piece that i wouldn’t touch, but again if i wanted to it just wouldn’t be that difficult. furthermore, as much as i am for personal responsibility, there is a part of me that feels that nyc should take some responsibility for her behavior. at the end of the day we live in a city that doesn’t just enable, but it encourages this kind of batshit crazy routine. this place is all about being out of control as often as possible regardless of the amount or lack of money in your bank account so god bless her for making the most out of her limited resources.
my only real criticisms are as follows: if you’re partying that much, you should probably do a better job of defining that line in the sand between acceptable and blackout at some point (you’re not in college anymore kid) and you should have developed a system for hangover management by now. there should be a game plan for hangover prevention and a system of post-binge drinking practices in place so you can sort of function like a normal person and find a fucking job.
good luck darling.
Now I really do love NYC, but I’m beginning to think that too much time spent here can totally mess with your head and make you a little bit insane and the city can be one hellish place to be. I will use today as a prime example. I know I have been in NYC for too long because this morning I was on the subway platform in Soho and was so hot, I was semi-enjoying the “breeze” that is created when two express trains going in different directions pass each other by in the spring street station for the 6. that is just really embarrassing. To make matters worse, I finally get on the subway and, oh wait for it, there is NO air conditioning. I decide on the spot that I’m probably either going to kill myself or someone else. I get off a few stops before my office because I would rather walk in the eighty degree heat than stay in the stuffy and oppressively hot subway car and potentially commit murder. I have never been more grateful for my over-air conditioned office building. We may be destroying the environment, but at least I haven’t killed anyone today.
Last night as I was rushing home from work to another meeting (shock) I got really annoyed because I literally ran into a HUGE group of tourists in front of Lombardi’s Pizzeria which is on the corner of Mott and Spring.
I was pretty ticked off because as you know, I am kind of a big deal, I am always in a rush, and I have little tolerance for tourists in my hood. I will obviously stop and give directions to interesting foreigners headed somewhere cool, but when people are in my neighborhood, keeping me from heading home after a 14 hour work day, I get a little ticked. I get even more ticked when they are hanging out at super cheesy places like Lombardi’s. After plowing down a woman in a pretty heinous pink sweater set, I almost ran into a school bus. I realized that these weren’t normal annoying tourists, as it turns out they were on a special tour of the best pizza in the world. Upon coming to this realization, they suddenly became some of the coolest people I had ever encountered.
At the end of the day I am secretly a fat chick. You wouldn’t necessarily get this by looking at me, but I live to eat and who doesn’t love pizza? These folks were being driven around on a school bus (2 points), in NYC (2 points), in an attempt to find the greatest pizza in the world (5 points). They were on Scott’s Pizza Tour and several of the folks there were definitely not so thin and this tour is likely contributing to our nationwide obesity crisis, but would I consider trying to get a few of my friends to join, the eatfest?” um yes.
And we thought our cheesy white limo and tour of the vineyards of the North Fork of Long Island (complete with stop at a hockey rink full of twelve year old boys for a tipsy bathroom break on the way out) was ridiculous, cheesy, and fun but a pizza tour of NYC in a school bus (assuming you can bring booze on board) actually sounds like it might be cooler.
so lp has been saying for the last two years that we live around the corner from a meth clinic. mind you, we live in the neighborhood of kelly ripa and malnourished models so it seemed a little bogus and out of place, but because she is so wise, I’ve been paying attention. i’ve noticed that there is an awkwardly placed blue building that doesn’t really fit with the rest of the buildings on lafayette street. i’ve never actually seen anyone emerge from the building, but an obvious camradrie exists amongst the folks hanging around outside. not exactly the kind of camradrie you’d see at a frat house, but I suppose the kind of camradrie that comes from having shared an intense personal experience together, such as heroine withdrawal. on my new walk to work, which does indeed include a stroll past that same corner of lafayette street, I am more aware of my surroundings and ready to not only acknowledge the meth clinic but also the puerto rican tranny that hangs around outside as well. my former roommate does hold a special place in her heart for addicts and i guess it shouldn’t have taken me two full years to come to terms with the meth clinic around the corner. one minute your view is of the empire state building and the next it is trannies and former heroin addicts. priceless.
