Adventure to the far east (hamptons not asia…)
Our foray into life “out east,” mind you the purpose of this trip was to raise money for a truly worthwhile cause, was eventful to say the least.
We went from the scariest(think creepy movie that comes out around halloween type hotel, to almost killing one another we were so tired and hungry to ultimately finding ourselves fat and happy on the beach sunday afternoon. In between the following occurred:
-we spent over 100 on cabs going no where-literally
-someone madeout with someone whose name was unclear for a solid 24 hours so we simply referred to him as “what’s his face”
-we saw a woman made almost entirely of plastic at the uber exclusive maidstone club as she walked by someone literally said, “where is your face?”
-we sort of convinced someone to stay out all night with us which is usually great, unless you live with your parents. Direct quote from her mother, “I was on my knees saying my rosary at 4:30 and God must have spoke to me because I decided against calling south hampton hospital to see if you were there. I decided if you were there, they would have recognized you and called me. You’re going to have a kid someday and she is going to give you a heart attack-literally-and I’m looking forward to it.”
-trip ends with what seems like a never-ending ride back to nyc in a wet bathing suit replete with hamptons dbags and screaming children.
Really quite special.
Going forward other things you need to survive a weekend in the hamptons:
-snobby attitude
-car and driver
-private residence with pool and beach club access
In sum you need lots of dough or a friend whose parents have some and really like you. This is actually the only way to survive life out east without blowing your life savings or losing your mind.
