some spots always equal trouble
i think i need to start a new website, “www.textfromthismorning.com”
today, i receive the following message from jersey: just woke up. still drunk. name and address on arm.
WHAT??!!!! my response is obviously where were you and who were you with???!!!
BROTHER JIMMY’S.
i will always have a special place in my heart for brother jimmy’s as i celebrated my 21st birthday there and i don’t think they could have been more accomodating. at least 21 free shots were consummed, i still have that brother jimmy’s t-shirt i was given as a gift, and i obviously danced on the bar because that is what you do when you’re 21 and in general when you are at brother jimmy’s. in addition to my t-shirt, that night i also left with the infamous brother jimmy’s gator. the gator has some special booze in it that is dumped into their swamp water cocktail, which you drink out of a fishbowl. no, i’m not kidding. not only are you drunk enough to think drinking out of a fishbowl is appropriate but you get a toy to take home.
follow-up text from jersey: i just found a plastic alligator in my purse.
i wish i could make fun of her for being trashy and from new jersey, but i collected those plastic gators back in the day like a little boy collecting classic baseball cards and could fairly easily be convinced to do the same today if someone asked me to…
when i turned twenty-five, one of the managing directors at my bank said, “you’re in the most perfect age range. old enough to know better, but young enough to not give a shit.”
well done on not giving a shit jersey, and hopefully the ink will be off your arm before you head into the office…
